Just Like That

I am back to my blogging seat after so many days! Writing is addictive, I guess. More so when you see your words in print on a beautiful page dedicated wholly to you! Thanks to a very special person for that J

The best part is that it’s free, like so many other good things in life!(And for all those who remembered the MasterCard ad just now, I happen to love the ad too!)

Moreover, no one judges you by what you write. No one appraises you or forces you to write a document to prove how much knowledge you have gathered in the past x months! Isn’t that wonderful? You keep scribbling and for all you know, you might be on a dais with a trophy in your hand someday, explaining to the audience what prompted you to write such a wonderful article!...Okay, now it’s time to get off my unicorn and return to reality!

Back to what I was talking about…..I never felt the inclination to write before. It’s really frustrating at times, believe me! In spite of all the inspiration provided by my Mom and friends……..nah, my only reply was that this ‘God-given capability’ comes to a chosen few! Penning down thoughts is a difficult domain for a practical lady like me! And on top of that, where’s the time to let your creative energy flow, when you are just another rat in the race?

And lo, and behold……there comes a day when the beautiful Manhattan skyline over the Hudson inspires a few thoughts, then a few words and then a few more…

Along comes the thought if these words are worth penning down at all. Back to my own philosophy of life ‘Who cares when you are doing what you want to!’. Does it really matter whether people like what you write in your own page? Nope, it doesn’t. Yet, the hungry heart always craves for praise. It reminds me of a line from a poem I had read in school once upon a time…

“Children are funny things,

they laugh In mirth at others' tears”

Well, I can vouch for the first line…the only thing is that it’s not only children…it’s every one of us, funny us! No comments about the second line though J

(See, this is the best part about writing what you feel. There’s nothing to be learnt from around three hundred words I wrote so far, absolutely nothing substantial, yet it gives me unimaginable pleasure to be able to do what I am doing J )

Bragging done for now, here’s something on a different note.

There are so many inventions yet to be done by man. Yes, I meant women as well! We can capture our looks with a camera, we can capture a movement with a video camera, and we can record our voice with a recorder, but what about our moods? Ten years down the line, is there a way to be able to relive the moment I am living now? Is there a way to exactly feel the way I am feeling?

I want to preserve the moments I love. I want to relish them over and over again. But then, on second thoughts, if we can relive certain moments, then what’s the fun of living life? Life is meant to be unpredictable in all predictable terms. And that’s what makes it so special! Just the faith that we can’t relive a moment makes it all the more precious!

Saluting to every ephemeral moment that takes my breath away………..I live only for cherishing you!

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Some inconsistent words

A weekend well spent…..a couple of days wasted with loads of sleep!

Another 24 hrs gone into waste without any meaningful thing done!

It snowed in New Jersey yesterday. This is the second time I encountered snowfall. The last time when I was in class 5. Boy, that’s a looooooooong time back!

My roomie and I were so excited about it that we quickly jumped into some warm clothes and rushed down. It was so nice with all the Christmas decorations in place. We went to the boardwalk after a long time. We could see people in a usually deserted boardwalk enjoying the first flurries of the season. Keeping in mind my upcoming trip to the West Coast, I had to succumb to my running nose and finally returned to my warm shelter J

It snowed and snowed all night taking little breaks. It was so exciting to see the cars with small snow mounds on their windshields when I went for my driving lesson. It just kept me wanting for more……

It really lights one’s heart to see the beautiful Christmas decorations everywhere you go. Every place is adorned to welcome nature’s glory. The trees shed their remaining traces of yellow, orange, red and brown. Colorful lights take the place of leaves! Wooden reindeers glow in the dark. The red noses turn redder as people rush for their office. It’s like being a part of ‘Christmas Carol’. The countryside houses are dressed up in bells and Christmas trees. The only things I miss are the Christmas carols in the background and a ballroom to dance in……….

Life is a fairytale J I love being in one despite every wrinkle that forms on my forehead as I think of reality. Forget everything; forget where you are and what you are supposed to do!

Relax, smile for all you are, for all you have got and for all who love you and all who you miss……

Put on some melodious music and forget the time. Miss everyone back home, because they are the ones you live for. One who has no one to miss has no one waiting for her. Just live the moment……….just love your life……just feel how blessed you are………that’s all this Holiday season is all about!

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a lifetime of joy!

“Christmas time, mistletoe and wine

Children singing Christian rhyme

With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree

A time for rejoicing in all that we see”

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Penning down some Random thoughts

With the holiday season fast approaching, I am yet to believe that it’s almost 6 months that I have left my country. Far from my parents, far from my love. Life goes on as usual. Bogged down with work from Monday to Friday, it’s a relief to get the long distance missed calls J Yes, they are missed calls by choice, but the calls are never missed. My laptop and webcam are always at command, ready to go live when the sun rises in India.



With the backdrop of the Manhattan skyline on the Hudson, I spend precious moments with people I love. Yet every now and then, I come across a question which I can never answer…



What the hell am I doing here?????



Yeah, yeah I know…it sounds pretty clichéd. Yet, it sets me thinking every time. The worst part is that it often haunts when I am supposed to be very happy….maybe in the gorgeous lanes of Times Square or within the beautiful Central Park! I try to assure myself that I have come here for betterment……..I have come here to gain experience, I have come here to build my bank balance which will help me in future, I have come here cause my company got my visa processed and there was no other way but to come here.



IT slaves hardly have a choice. I am sure people would disagree with me saying that this is the best thing that could happen to me…….an onsite opportunity I mean! An opportunity to work at the client location in a new country is supposed to add to my resume as well.



But then, is it really worth?



When I can’t be with my parents when they are retired and their world revolves around me? When they wake up from sleep waiting for my online status in the communicator just to find that I cannot take their call because I am having dinner with my friends, thanks to the time zone difference? Is it really worth when the max I can do is send a gift or two online, but can’t be with them when they want my presence? When all that I can do is reassure them that I am doing well, when I am actually not? Working here for 10-12 hrs per day and then slogging over the weekends when you get paid for only 8 hrs per day for 5 days a week, life is not as cool as it appears.



Am I selfish, or am I not?

It’s now a regular random thought.



I miss my days back when I could sleep in peace with my parents on both sides.

I miss my days when I got a hug every time I felt sad. I miss those days when the both of us would just wait for a few moments of togetherness. It felt so blissful to be in each other’s arms, just hoping that the never ending time would linger on.



Maybe I am thinking a bit too much…given the fact that this separation is temporary. But it’s painful nonetheless L



I don’t want to believe that Mom and Dad will have more grey hair that I left them with. I don’t want to believe the fact that my sweetheart will be away from me for as long as I am here. I know it’s just a few months, but then time actually does not fly when you want it to. The only consolation is the belief that I always carry with myself always ……….



All that happens happens for our good.



I don’t remember where I picked up this line from. What made me believe it…but frankly it’s very convenient. It helps you move forward without any grudges in life. When you feel bad, you always have the faith that there’s a silver lining somewhere hidden beneath the dark clouds.



Till date, there has hardly been anytime when I had to pen down my thoughts with a choked throat to deal with. There has hardly been a time when I had to suppress my tears which would otherwise wake up my roomy, another IT slave, who’s catching up with some much needed sleep. All this happens………not in India, the poor country where comfort is termed luxury, but in a land far from India, where Indians come rushing like the rats behind Pied Piper. Guess the term ‘rat race’ originated from here.



Well, on a different note, I don’t deny the fact that life is much easier out here. Everything is at hand, and it’s very easy to be self sufficient. It’s all about rules, it all about law. It’s all about comfort. But at the end of it all, it’s all about the dollar rupee conversion rate. I am sure this country will lose its charm if the conversion rate dips to a negative value. Well, I fervently hope that I am back in India by then. Huh…there I am, back to my selfish self.



The ironical part is that in spite of all my cynicism, I like this place. Guess it’s my idiosyncrasy that drives me in this respect. I have loved every place that I have lived in till date. And I never stop missing the places I lived in earlier times. Not a very small journey…in the past 25 years……..from Durgapur to Kolaghat to Mysore to Hyderabad to Mangalore to Hyderabad and finally to New York. Not to forget the several small journeys that I have kept on making between these big milestones. I feel old now J covered a lot of ground till date!



Aah, now I understand, this is what Quarter Life Crisis is all about. Starting on one note and ending on another. Confused random thoughts striking at the same moment and fingers craving for gathering speed at the keyboard. Can’t help it…after all, MS Word seems to be an easier option then literally ‘penning’ down thoughts to an IT slave!



More to follow.........

Posted by SHRMITRA on behalf of the author